Things I wish someone told me about dogs - before getting one
Bringing a dog into your life can be a fun and exciting adventure - but it can also be one of the most humbling. No matter how many books you read, trainers you follow, or routines you implement, there will be moments when things don’t go as planned. Maybe your dog is more anxious than you expected, more reactive, or just different from what you envisioned. And in those moments, it’s easy to question yourself. So here I am, sharing the things I wish someone told me sooner, and helping you feel a little less alone in the process.
Sometimes you can’t escape genetics.
You can do everything “by the book” when raising a puppy and still end up with a reactive or anxious dog. The guilt an owner might feel when things don’t go as planned can feel overwhelming. Did I do enough for my dog? Am I a good enough owner? The truth is that sometimes you can’t escape a dog’s genetics. It’s essential to do all you can on the front end, but please know - you can’t control everything and sometimes your dog’s genes have other plans.
Big breed or small breed… they all need boundaries.
I’m sure many of us have heard that getting a big breed dog is a big responsibility. And while this is very much true, I'd also like to add that getting a yorkie is also a big responsibility.
There are so many small dogs running around with their tiny bodies and big personalities, being all kinds of bossy.
Some of the most challenging dogs I've ever worked with are much smaller but mighty with their issues. When we’re set up to think powerful breeds only show up as german shepherds or pit bulls, many of us assume there isn’t much we need to do when getting a boston terrier or cavapoo. But the reality is that small dogs need boundaries just as much as big dogs do. Check out my E-Collar Starter Guide for step by step guidance on working with ANY kind of dog.
Focus on helping your dog be neutral instead of overly social.
As a new dog owner, I thought dog parks were the gold standard for socializing. Getting my dog to bounce around with other dogs and play nicely felt like the thing to do. I wish someone told me that teaching my dog how to relax around other dogs, people, and distractions was a skill that would help us enjoy MORE and help them be calmer, which ultimately leads to a happier dog.
Don’t get me wrong, social dogs are great - but a dog that can calmly coexist around others is something I didn’t even know was a possibility. Now that I’ve experienced it, I wish I had known about it sooner.
Check out my free guide to the place command for guidance on how to teach your dog to be neutral.
What works for one dog might not work for your dog.
It’s so easy to assume that what worked for your friend will also work for you, but all dogs are wildly different. Understanding this will save you a lot of guilty internal convos and beating yourself up for not doing things right.
The good news is that there are different approaches to training and lots of trainers who want to help you. It might look different from what your friends or family did with their dogs, but that’s okay.
Exercise does not equal training.
If you keep tiring your dog out to get them to behave, you’ll end up with an ultra athlete. Can you really keep up with that?
Maybe it was my obsession with The Dog Whisperer and when watching I’d often see him rollerblade with dogs to get them to chill- I for sure thought that in order to have a happy dog, I needed a tired dog too. The more you run, bike, or rollerblade with your dog, the stronger their endurance gets. Exercise is an essential part of having a dog, and it’s so important - but I wish someone told me that you don’t have to run your dog five miles to get them to behave or calm down. A well exercised dog does not always mean a well behaved dog. You will still have to get to the root of their behaviors in order to make a long term difference.
Dog Parks are not the only way to socialize your dog.
Socializing your dog does not mean they have to be fully immersed in a pack of dogs, interacting with them every second. It can look like walking through a park as your dog calmly observes other dogs and people from afar. Or a play date with another dog you know will set a good example for your dog. Saying hi to your family when they come over and then having your dog hang out on place to observe without needing to be in everyone’s space.
Socializing does not have to look like zooming around a dog park with a bunch of dogs you don’t know. Replace the word socialize with exposure. Exposing your dog to things is a great way to socialize.
No amount of unconditional love can replace structure, routine, and leadership.
Hard stop - need I explain more?
Some days you might not like your dog and that’s okay.
I love you but I'm having a hard time liking you today.
If you have a challenging dog - the kind you didn’t expect - you’ll feel this at some point and think you’re the most awful person in the world. But you’re not alone. Having a dog can feel overwhelming - and that’s what I really wish someone told me. It’s not always sunshine and rainbows, but it gets better. You just might have to go through some serious personal growth to get there.
At the end of the day, dog ownership is a journey - messy, beautiful, frustrating, and deeply rewarding. You’re not failing if it’s hard sometimes. You’re just learning, growing, and showing up for your dog the best you can. And that matters more than perfection ever will.
Love, Bethany ❤️
